I wish I could say I wake up everyday feeling excited

It's wed morning now, but it really felt eternity to reach mid week..

I slept more than 9hours on Sunday night but despite the necessary rest, I'm still very restless on Monday morning..

Remember the Steve jobs quotes I posted before.. looks like I'm not following and not living a true life to myself.. 

on a random day

on a random day, i suddenly realised that i have produced 4 video and uploaded into my channel, in a span of about 7 months.

that average out to a video every 2 months..

bearing in mind, these video are holiday trip videos. where i go out, have some fun and try to document it down in a video..

i film all my things on a gopro. because its the only camera which i have that capture decent videos. so, naturally, i spent some $$ on gopro accessories and i you guess it, i think i went a bit overboard.

On accessories alone, i spent $340 till date. that excluding the morpheus stabiliser which cost me another $200+ waiting to be shipped from canada to singapore. 

Guess how much my gopro cost?? i bought the hero 3+ silver 1 year back. after discount, $339.

yea, my accessories cost more than the camera itself now.. and the irony is, i still got more accessories to buy.. oppps...

the act of me buying a gopro and starting to get interested in film making makes me 走火入魔. haha..

you can checkout my gopro channel here: www.youtube.com/anganghere

these day, after my 4th video, i find my film making work kind of boring and i need to add in more content and story to it.. 

saying goodbye is always the hardest.

more often than not, the lingering feeling of goodbye is the hardest felt emotion...

from simple things like the lingering feeling when you meet a good guide during trekking but its time to say goodbye....

or the reason you get emotional while watching a show, usually due to some form of goodbye..

and definitely, the grief you felt when someone close to you reaches their end of the journey...


goodbyes are the closing chapter of something wonderful which we can't bear to part.. like the famous chinese saying,  天下无不散之宴席, which means we still have to say goodbye no matter how much you don't want to let it go..

so, in whatever we are in right now.. remember that it will end someday and cherish every moment of it.  

video making and producing

I never knew I had such video making interest until recently when I get my hands on gopro.

Looking at all the fanciful marketing video by gopro, it got me so pump up to buy one and produce my own...

Gopro associate themselves to being sporty, action pack and fun, so I naively though buying the camera will help me easily create the same kind of marketing videos like gopro.

Haha.. so silly me.. only to know this when I felt disappointed with my first amateur video..

I spent a ton of time the last 2 days on YouTube, observing how others film and edit their travels and adventures.. I'm still learning and hope I can produce better videos in the coming future..

Some things to note will be multiple angles, story board, panning and slow motion on high impact points..

I believe videos are awesome in telling a story and capturing the moment.. (a photobook is awesome for creating stories too though). I want to continue to create my stories, for my own memories down the road...

quotes from steve jobs commencement speech

scsm 2014

ok, another year for 42.195km...

this will be my 7th marathon. and its getting freaking expensive. $70 to run and torture yourself? i think im nuts...

giving criticism

its one thing to know something and another to apply it in life...

remember the criticism sandwich suggested by dale carnegie?? apparently, i did not apply it when necessary after reviewing my life and what i've done for the past few weeks.

what i did not know was to watch my tone when being rebutted. When things get heated up, its get out of control, so mentally be prepared for rebuttal when giving criticism.

the point is not to "win", the point is to get the message across..

taking on too much ownership in things

certain things are better off left being bo chap (don care) rather than being responsible and taking on ownership.

knowing this, its just so so so not in my character to do just that.. I just don feel good if i don care, i believe in managing the situation than leaving things to unfold by itself. but when i poke my nose into the business, it sometimes made me feel miserable..

its conflicting and almost like a battle within..

its has been a bad bad week at work, with grave mistakes causing financial pain to myself..

just wondering what have I achieved for the past 5 months

Seems like I'm not going anywhere.. not done anything.. or achieve something significant..

Just can't sleep

I just can't fall asleep despite being a really long day today...

No doubt it's fulfilling, catching up with friends, good conversation etc and making myself really tired.. 

I somehow just can't go into lala land automatically.. this is so unusual as I hardly get insomnia..

I know it's work related bothering me right now.. moving, isolation, new pet peeves, adjusting, performing and getting distance away from others..

I hope by penning something down, it will ease my anxiety and hopefully sleep soundly soon. 

Disappointed..

Just yesterday, I was reading through my old post about relationship, family, love and being love.

The last part of that post was about work relationships. After about a month of feeling ok (perhaps due to not thinking too much) I got smack really hard by reality today. 

On a very last minute notice, someone from my team is required to stayed back today after work for some system testing. And mind you, the timing is ridiculous, 6.30pm till 9.30pm.. You know, everyone have plans on a Friday evening.. Some have important things, gathering, dinner appt, movie, exercising etc etc. 

I was so so disappointed that there was no room for negotiation on who to stay, the door was slam shut right in front of my face. No love, no concern, only leaving me feeling shock, rude, and seriously unhappy.

The issue which I was concerned most happened to me. Hai, seriously, after so much effort, nothing changed. Has really everything all gone to waste? I really don't know how to manage it further.. 

In work, the matter of fact is, the one who cares losses the most.. the one who do the best work gets the most shit and the one who is easy going gets push around endlessly. 

Politics (Office) Sucks, Reality sucks, Society suck.

Nobody is willing to first take a step forward to contribute and take a step backwards to give in. 

True friends are hard to come by, I'm thankful and treasure truthfully with what I have

So long never write

It has been busy for the month Mar.

Planning my canoe to batam trip and helping my dad with some signage design. 

Kayak to Batam trip got serious this month. Real serious, that although I have not sent any proposal or got any approval yet, I confidently feel the trip is plannable. 

Throughout this process, I realised and experience first hand that, anything is possible so long you set your mind and heart to do it.

I recall starting the vague thought of planning the trip 6months ago with very uncertain, unsure feeling. how do I go about to do this trip? 

But the more determine I get, the more I give thought to it, the more I talk and ask people about this, the more confident I get.

It's not only on the planning part, I'm equally worried about the safety, the weather and the proficiency level... 

In anycase, I have already put in too much effort. I am so set and determined to get this done, so I will take on whatever obstacle or challenges along the way. 

Anyway, I just want to pen down the incredible feeling of knowing everything is possible. 

Relationships, Family, Love and Being Love

It's an emo night and I'm having random thought in my mind.

I read an article saying that one can only get true fulfilment from meaningful relationships, strong family ties, to love and being love.

I believe it's true and should be the priorities in life. 

I think I'm feeling a mix of jealousy and the returns of love from certain relationships are not equal...

Running for the train

If you have the chance, try observing this when you are on the MRT someday.

You know, on and off, people run for the train. With the train doors wide open, and ample room to hop on, people attempt the short dash to quickly get on. 

Doing all this to avoid the hassle waiting for the next train.

I observe this today at Raffles Place Station. For some reason, the doors stayed opened longer than usual. And many attempted to run. 

I interestingly notice that most people who attempt to run for the train have a small grin on their faces. All very natural, definitely not faking it.

It kept me wondering what emotional trigger that grin. I guess it is the excitement of wondering if you will made it. Also, the fear of embarrassment if the door shuts right in front of you. 

Whatever the case, I still think it's an interesting observation. 

correct vs want

is it true that as you grow older, u start to do what 'correct' although it isn't what you want?

sharing the experience

i used to believe in, if you want to do something, just go do it.

maybe its due to growing up, maybe due to compromising..

nowadays, i would tend to think: "i want to share this experience together"

so, i've turn into one of those with thinking of such "if you go, then i go"

something which i condemn previously..


thinking deeper this issue, i began to wonder.. if there is a part of me feeling not socially belong. that why giving off nice excuses to not go??

start now!!

http://blog.bufferapp.com/the-habits-of-successful-people-they-start-before-they-feel-ready

someone shared this article on Facebook, which is a good reminder for me. More often than not, i feel insecure, the information isn't detailed enough, or that my research is not complete. Sometimes  i too question if i procrastinate to start because i am afraid of failure...

Some quote i think which is worth mentioning:

"Successful people start before they feel ready"

"If you are working on something important, then you will never feel ready. The side effect of doing challenging work is that you are pulled by excitement and push by confusion at the same time"

"You are bound to feel uncertain, unprepared and unqualified. But let me assure you of this: what you have right now is enough. You can plan, delay and revise all you want, but trust me, what you have now is enough to start."

"We all start in the same place: no money, no resources, no contacts, no experience. The difference is that some people - the winners - choose to start anyway."