is it just me?

Is it just me, or everyone else the same?

Whenever I need to setup accounts for something casual, I am very undecided on it's username...

I think, I think too much..

birthday gift from family

i just received a very good birthday gift (in my opinion) from my family this evening.

we had a good solid 2 hours family chit chat. My whole family was around, and we just sat at the dining table talking about ipod, housing plans, work, bonus, malaysia, danga bay, secret marathon training and some other random stuff which i can't remember...

quality time spent is more valuable than material gift received. the chit chat wasn't planned, it just happen so naturally and coincidentally that everyone had that window of time available, in the correct mood and setting to talk.

that why, i choose to stay home today on my birthday. nothing beats the warmth at home. I just rest and relax, catch up a bit of TV and idle the day away..

i do appreciate all the gifts and well wishes i received this year. i'm so fortunate to meet and know you people!!

burn out

I don know why.. I should be feeling happy and excited for work with the recent changes and new portfolio...

But in the morning of the past 2 days, I have a burn out feeling. 

Maybe it's just the lack of sleep. I will be fine after the weekend

I'm not feeling well

I'm not feeling well


Teary eyes, Flu, Nausea, Burping, headach, sore neck and muscles... These are my body reaction when I've insufficient sleep, too stress up, or too hungry...

I just sat at the priority seat on the mrt.. I'm always mindful about my surrounding when I get a seat on public transport. But still, I always still feel the tension within myself, "should I give up my seat to this person a not."

It's easy if the answer is straight forward. The difficulty is when the answer requires some judgement call "is she fat or pregnent?", 'I want to give you my seat but you are not making eye contact with me and I'm seated too far to tap you" or even "will you give me the palm of rejection and I embarrassingly sit down again"

All these while, people may stomp you unknowingly and be a keyboard warrior painting a one sided story blowing things out of proportion. Why not do something really useful by helping the needy find a seat?

good colleagues turn friends

I'm so bless to be surrounded by friendly and helpful people at my working environment.

I am very thankful that everyone on my team takes good care of me. That is true, at least for the past 2 years. I do really hope this can continue on, even when the team takes on new people in the possible near furture.

For those going to a new work environment, I really do wish them the best, in terms of work performance environment and progression.

For those venturing into a new business, I really admire your courage and I believe this new adventure is one which when u look back few years down the road, it's one you feel so thankful you took this leap of faith right now! I wish u 生意兴隆。

For those still looking for employment, I hope the new year come new opportunities. Hope u quickly find one soon!

I may not be very good at words. I usually use action to make known my 心意， and I wish people do feel it. At some point down the road, in our busy lifes, I do wish our path will continue to cross, friendship continue on and everybody 快快乐乐。

its bothering me

You know its bothering you when you cant sleep at night despite knowing how mentally tired you are already.

Will I see 36k in Jan?

the best thing often come as the worst thing

"The best things often come disguised as the worst things. You have to let yourself be gutted by them. They’re making way for something far greater."

Was finding my daily inspiration and came upon this quote. 

Perfect to describe what I'm feeling after all the turn of events at work.. I seriously hope I can quickly see that something far greater.

5hr 38mins

5 hours, 38 mins. And that my marathon timing.

Blessed with ultra good weather this year. Its likely the most fun marathon for me. I was not watching the time very closely. Just try to enjoy the process as much as possible. Armed with gopro camera on my hand, I took photos of people who dress up as super mario, cat women, captain america etc etc.

A litttle disappointing was some photos turn out blur etc. Will post photos when I'm back on my home pc.

how much did they pay you to give up on your dreams?

Back onto the topic of the rat race.

Chance upon a video where it looks to be in an interview scene, very likely a year end performance review.

The candidate, which has shown good culinary skillset during college was being inspired by the interviewer, likely the boss, to follow his dream.

The interviewer throw him the question: "How much did they first pay you to give up on your dreams?"

So the question to myself, how much did I get paid to give up on my deams???




Oh. I just googled and YouTube the video, and I guess it's from the movie, "Up In The Air"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MlWKI-6Btg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

marathon history..

Marathon Track Record:

SCSM Full Marathon 2006 (05:12:24)
SCSM Full Marathon 2007 (05:47:24)
SCSM Full Marathon 2009 (05:42:44)
Sundown FullMarathon 11 (05:28.52)
SCSM Full Marathon 2012 (06:02:18)


a very quick summary:

2006 - 1st marathon: trained damm hard for it. 2006 is the period where im still in poly, when life is carefree, fun and there are lots of freetime. i recall my weekly target is to run at least 3x. 2x during weekdays where i will try to clock between 5 to 10km, and 1 weekend run where i clock distance. I recall clocking around 33km in one of the weekends.

i remember i was trying to aim for a timing under 5hrs, but was 12mins behind, overall still very satisfied with the result. i read so much info about hitting the wall, pain on the soles, ankles, knees etc etc.. all 1st hand experience.. i did not have much strategic planning for the run, timing could better if i planned and applied some strategies i used.


2007 - 2nd marathon, i trained, but not as hard. i don recall i clock a 30km run during training.. maybe at best is 27km i think. got complacence in training and on the race itself. mentally weak, lazy to push myself and therefore got such poor timing.. dishearten, i went on a oversea trip in 2008..

2009 - this was after my army, doing part-time studies. i also forgotten most details of this. i also forgotten if it was this marathon, or the marathon in 2007 that i discover my walk run technique using mp3 player.

2011 - one of my best marathon (aside from 2006) as i unintentionally discovered the other few secrets which worked for me. I recalled i did some training, but not as substantial as per my previous few marathons. at the finishing line of this marathon, looking at my timing of such and the amount of training effort, i thought to myself.. "marathon is no longer a challenge. maybe it time to move on to ultra.." i guess you could now sense how satisfied i was with my results and with myself.

2012 - the marathon which i did not plan on running.. on a quite last min notice, i decided to take on my dad's number tag to run. totally did not train at all.. max distance clock was like maybe 18km... i had a poly 50 race 2-3 weeks before this marathon. so the training focus was a lot on sprint and recovery (poly50). super complacence, thought that my new found strategy can rule the world no matter what.. haha.. silly me.

2013 - how will things turn out??


a summary of my training:

Jun-Oct: never run and live very unhealthy. althought i blog about 11 more weeks to marathon in sept, i still nua for another month before i officially get my butt up to train.

21 Oct: 12km - 1hr 19min: 1st run since donkey years. mainly for warming up, taking it easy, get back into the mood of long dist running. walk a bit here and there.

31 Oct: 18km - 2hr 3mins: mentally force my tired body to run 99% of the time. knees and ankle felt painful during and after the run, for about 2 days..

2-8 Nov: fall sick. flu, sore throat, blocked nose.. i rested and hope my knees recover.

14 Nov: 26.5km - 3hr 26min - ran most of the 1st 20km, knees got horribly painful. practically walked the last 4km home.. after research, found out i got runners knee..

17 Nov: 15.7km - 2hr 6min. ECP. Knees giving me problem. expected it to do so..

sweaty and smelly

i just completed a 18km run, took me about 2 hours to complete it..

it was not easy. this is my 2nd long run, the first was last monday where i clock about 14km...

consider that i have not ran for many many few weeks prior to my last monday session, i consider it an achievement that i endure through.

furthermore, its not like i have run more than 5km from the beginning of the year till now..

so, good job ang. a pat on your own shoulder.


also, i realised that my mental endurance has drop over the years.. i had to really focus hard and keep telling myself to continue through, maintain pace, and look forward to pass by the scenery in front...

after so many marathon (which i lost count), i really came to realised what separate the winners and losers (till the point before you "hit the wall') is mentality. and i meant winners not who came in 1st, but those who fight off the fatigue and persevere through.

that why sometimes i secretly love about the marathon. completing is doable, its just a matter of time. but what makes all the differences is the process through completion. the battle between your brain and  your tired body. sometimes i just need to know that i still got it, still got the mental endurance to fight off challenges, be it for a run or for life.

after 18km of running today, (99% jogged, i walk very very little today), i now have a super aching left calves, some pain in my right knee and ankle. Of course, all my lower body muscles, shoulders and lower back are aching as well.



let me share some of my personal tips to a marathon:

1. mp3 player is your best friend. so long as there battery, it keep talking to you.
2. drink drink and drink, isotonic or water..
3. carry a personal muscle rub. trust me, you are like a saviour when you share yours with others
4. apply vaseline on area where you may get abrasion. its a killer and you need to up your mental 10x just to fight off this pain (if its a major abrasion)
5. wear thighs if you do get abrasion between your legs. it works like magic.
6. wear shades if possible, this is to look cool. haha, the other use is to have less glare when you are running towards the sun, it bearable but still irritating especially when you are tired.
7. banana and me don click well. i get bloated after eating the whole slice. i only eat a quarter, or at most half.


and here are the top secrets which i discover and use personally, i will want to copyright them as ang's method:

1. i use a walk run technique and pace myself using my mp3 player. - i typically hit the wall at around 30+km. But due to lack of training, it has move down to like 27-28km or maybe even 26km this yr. Hitting the wall is very painful and frustrating so i try at best to avoid it. before hitting the wall, i start to use a walk run technique, to help the muscle to be less stressful and allows the occasional must needed break. i personally like a walk run ratio of about 1:3, meaning walk 1 min, run 3 mins.. but it very tiring to keep looking at your watch or count lamp post. Here the interesting part, i pace myself using the music on my MP3. When the music start playing, i start walking, and i will walk till the chorus starts and jog till the song ends. if you know the songs well, which typically we do, this give you time to prepare mentally to start jogging as the chorus is about to start, and you will know exactly the song is ending. this method will approximately gives you a 1:3 ratio.

2. i talk to myself mentally encouraging myself -  at one point in time, i thought i was crazy but hack, it works! i don know what are your motivation trigger are, but i keep telling myself mentally to "keep going", "you are doing good", "keep your best form", "maintain this pace", "well done", "good job", "you can do it" etc etc. use positive trigger like those above instead of negative like "don slow down", "don walk" or "we are almost there yet" etc etc.

3. mentally have a picture of you running in your best form, and project that image mentally in front of you - this is adopted from nlp. the picture of you can be at any angle, the side, the front etc. but it must show you running in your best form effortlessly. it can also be a moving image where it shows that you are running. project that image ahead of you and tell yourself that "you are the picture" and "be that feller!!!" use this when you are feeling fatigue or when the pain in your legs are unbearable.

4. zoom in only on people around you who are running - this is very very powerful. use this during the times when you are most tired and unmotivated to run. typically for me, anytime after the 30km mark i desperately use this. Around you, there will be people walking, looking to be in pain, i wanna give up face and the "WTF did i sign up for a marathon face". don let these strangers who happen to be around you affect you. they will, as you are feeling how they have felt and when you see them walk, you will have the tendency to walk as well. So they best way is to not look to them, and only focus on the few people who are still jogging ahead of you. Really really only just focus on the people jogging, and blur out the rest. this gives you the illusion that the race course is pack with motivated runners who don give up. it keep you going, and when your mp3 starts asking you to run, you will have the motivation to stick to it.


i hope you find these tips helpful, and see if it works for you..

the rat race..

“The rat race” is a term used for an endless, self-defeating or pointless pursuit. 

Quotes from the article I partically like:

1. The rat has a goal…or at least he believes he does. Either way, he does not realize that his goal is determined by another. 
2. I knew I enjoyed writing and teaching, but lived my life surrounded by people who told me those pursuits would never be profitable. Those same people told me that working a job I hated, for 8 hours or more a day, for 5 days a week until I retired with no pension, was the best possible situation for me. 
3. You see, the problem with being in the rat race is, you’re surrounded by rats. Getting out means you have to discover what you want to do, set your own goals and not allow the concept of company achievement keep you from doing your workand accomplishing what you want. 
4. It isn’t easy and getting out of the rat race won’t mean that you suddenly stop working hard. You work just as hard or harder, but work hard doing exactly what you want–getting reward beyond dollars for your efforts.
5. One of the toughest things about being in the rat race is that often times your job is thankless. You go to work everyday, work your tail off and your reward is a paycheck. That’s it. Occasionally, some good Samaritan will be grateful for your work, but at the end of the day, you believe what you do is nothing special and can be easily replaced.
6. All you have to do to get out of the rat race is “decide” to get out. Now, I am sure you are unsatisfied with that answer, but, although it sounds simple, it is actually incredibly hard. 
When I worked those jobs I hated, deciding to leave them was as hard as letting go of the edge of the pool when you don’t know how to swim. And even when you do let go, you keep that edge in close sight, never straying too far away because of your fears. Getting out is hard. Really, really hard. But it is also one of the most rewarding things you will do in your lifetime.

http://cebocampbell.com/5-ways-to-know-if-you-are-stuck-in-the-rat-race-and-1-way-to-get-out/

Subconscious mistakes

i think this article is good.

i actually just finish reading point 1, and thought it is worth a share!


http://www.fastcompany.com/3019903/work-smart/8-subconscious-mistakes-our-brains-make-every-day-and-how-to-avoid-them

the map is not the territory

the map is not the territory


I was re-reading my trading books, the new market wizard, looking through the chapter on psychology.

The chapter was about how NLP is able to help traders.

So, they intro what NLP is all about, and mention the 5 essential principles of NLP, of which, the first is:


"The map is not the territory"


The map is our thoughts and feelings. The territory is the reality.

We respond with our thoughts and Feelings to reality, we don respond to reality.

This is good, as it possible to get a better map - a better way to think and feel.


In my personal experience with life, it true that we react, decide and make decision more on feelings than on fact and reality.

Think of the people who queue up at Singapore pools buying the million dollar Toto draw. They all know the odds of winning the grand price is extremely extremely small,  but yet, the excitement and the desire for the million dollar trump their rational thinking, that they have close to 0% chance of winning...

I'm not saying to always have the perfect map, but perhaps, it may be easier to overcome the difficult times when you do slight alteration to your map.

what, 11 weeks?

i opened up my mailbox and suddenly got reminded that i sign up for a SCSM this year.

oh my, 11 weeks to go, and i'm feeling so so lazy to train..

being an introvert

Networking is so not me.

But knowing it importance, it hard to constantly remind myself to do it.

I find it very unnatural to engage in small talk. I find it mentally draining to find conversational topics. I find it irritating to talk for the sake of talking..

I still like being genuine, talk because it matters, ask because I really care, listen because I'm really concern.

I guess, this is just part of being an introvert.

update of my awesome life - part 1

lately, so much have come and gone by that i'm having difficulties recalling what has happened.


14 June - Mayday Concert

you know the concert is definitely good, if after 1.5 month you still on and off try to recap the highlights of the concert you've watched...

this is what is happening to me every now and then...

i will definitely reconsider to watch their concert again in the near future.. i hope to really get super duper high the next time round...

i was like a little kid awaiting for the concert day to come, it my virgin concert (yes, after 26yrs) and was super excited.

on the other hand, i was also worried if i am setting my expectations too high, after hearing raving reviews of how good they are...

luckily, they did not disappoint me, as i was still in the concert mode while on my way home...

i was even toying with the idea of watching them in tw, as the props, effects and stage are so much bigger and spectacular. 

15 & 16 June - Bintan w batch colleagues

haha. our 2nd trip there.. again, 7 pax. i think the planning was better this time round, brought more things to play and had more fun.. 

so what's different? 

1. we brought wii, to par game on the 40" TV

2. we've got jennifer otah for bbq, and there less overkill in food

3. we played in the swimming pool on both days

4. we played volleyball and football

of course, we still played san guo game, bbq time as bonding, steve awesome cooking skills and every individual effort and commitment to make the trip complete.

the only thing is, we played so much till we forget to plan to go for massage.. haha..

17 - 22 June - Kerinchi Trek

Apart from the fact that the traveling journey is long and tiring, the view good, the trek is good, the company is good. 

the town is really at a very remote place, image a 8hr car ride from airport, passing by villages, rice field and going up mountains.. just to reach "the place", 130 km south of Padang, the nearest airport.

and being remote has it advantages, there no computer, no wifi, the hot water is of limited supply and occasionally, there is temporary power trip. the most high-tech device at our home stay is actually the TV, cable box and satellite dish for tv signal. 

there is no hotel or even motel in the town. we stayed at a home stay, which i believe is run by a family which has converted his spare apartment into many rooms (w attached bath) for guest to stay. they do provide a common living and dining area for all to use. 

tourism is scare here.. apart from us (the 6 cool adventurer), i've only heard another young couple (are they french, i cant remember) staying at the village here for the past few months. they are here doing some society/cultural/i-don-really-know studies here, which explains the long stay.. oh ya, we also camp beside a ang mo couple on Mt. Kerinchi, so there is at least 3 group of tourist here..

we went to lake tuju and mt keranchi for our treks. Mt. Kerinchi just erupted 15 days ago before our climb.. the guide only told us this, when we are about to trek.. haha.. we almost could not get the required permit due to the recent eruption. the interesting thing here is that the trek got windier and windier and the trees sway stronger and stronger as we trek higher and higher. due to the prolong exposure of wind, some of the tree root were already loose, and there is cracking sound from the trees. oh, i forget to mention that fallen tree obstructing our trail was a common sight here.. 

on the summit club, as we proceed higher and higher, greenery and tress get lesser and lesser. it come to a point where the place is too high, too cold and too windy for plants to grow.. what is left on the trail is just rocks, sand and dust.. 

there was this part towards the summit where the route roughly 10 to 15m wide, on each side a cliff, with its surrounding so bare and open, when you can look left and right towards the horizon with absolutely nothing blocking. and because of this, the crosswind is super strong here.. i seriously felt that   i could have be blown away if i was not careful and stable in my footsteps.. sounds exaggerating but i'm really not kidding here... this is the most harshest wind experience i've ever had! lets call this "the wind too strong part" for easy future reference.

the guide lead the way to the summit for joel and yutai, as the 3 girls and i opt not to continue further. we rested at a hole, which was only able to partially cover our exposure to the wind. the initially plan was to wait there till the summit team come back.. but sensing that everyone is really feeling v cold, we decided to trek down to a less windy spot for better protection..  guess what, in order for us to go down, we have to trek back, passing "the wind too strong part".

the trek down was really funny. they say unity is strength.. ya, so very true here. in order to combat the wind, we interlock our arms side by side and walk in the style of the crab. when the wind was strong, everyone automatically stop and stay still, praying for it to die down, when the wind die down, everyone was like 快点，快点,  and move quickly in line to clear the danger. its like playing the childhood game, statue with the wind. 

we got down safely and so is the summit team about an hour later.. joel and yutai took nice photos of the beautiful summit.

when what's left on trail is just rock, sand and dust.

i think i will spent another time updating my other event as its really late now (it close to 4am now) and i still gonna wake up early tomorrow. (8.30am!!! arggg..)

so till then..

so, go out and tell everyone you care about: Thank You & I Love You ~~~

im gonna be v random here today..

today is my mom's birthday.. and unfortunately, today also happens to be the day my grandma pass away.

hearing the description of how they found out ah ma pass away, i'm just glad to know ah ma pass away so peacefully.. no struggle, not in pain (i think the morphine helped)... just went to sleep and stop breathing.


it sets me thinking what are her thoughts before death:

is ah ma happy with her life?
my ah ma is really really old (like 100 this year), does she feel "tired of living"
does ah ma remembers and miss her teban home ?
is she angry and fustrated with life, with her illness?
has she really enjoyed life?
....
....
....


my ah ma has been a very very very stubborn person, till a point that at times its hard to tolerate.

though i can't fully agree with some of my ah ma comment, way of thinking, dealing with food, etc etc.. but today, i could suddenly see things from a different lens, that a lot of things she did came out from LOVE....

like most ah ma, cooking good food for us to visit her on sundays, giving us big ang baos, scramble and save just to give the best to the rest..

it forces me to recall and remember some of the recent cute & incidents i had with ah ma. and also, like all grandparents wishes to grandchildren, to 发大彩 & do a good job in high ranking post..

Why is it that only at times like this then we could take out our compassion and see things from the good side?



come to think about it,  ah ma is actually v fortunate, to be able to live to a 100 years, to have been able to live and stay at home, to be able to carry great grand children (4th generation whaha), and also to have all her children still here to accompany her into final stage in life..  



when i return home, finding my quiet moment at a corner, it just suddenly dawn on me it can be so scary that a person who went out through the maindoor a few days back is never ever coming back again..



her favorite candy: 冰糖

recently, we starting giving her m&m instead, and she like it.. i think cos it colourful..

so, remember to give thanks and appreciate all the small things in life.

when sharing is not equal to caring

is it necessary true that for the people you care more, you tend to share more?

what happens when you over share, where sharing turn to questioning.. questioning intend.. questioning purpose.. questioning objectives...

it occurs somewhere on the line where you cared too much, and follow by asking too much..

sometimes, it hard to distinguish how much of sharing is necessary..

rethinking the phrase, follow your heart

The opposite of happiness is not sadness. Its boredom.

Happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin, just like love and hate.

The opposite of love is indifferent.

When having a goal or dream, and when we achieve it, what is the desired outcome that makes the effort worthwhile?

Is It Happiness? 

Excitement is the more practical synonym for happiness, and is precisely what everyone should strive to chase. It's the cure all. 

 When people suggest to follow your passion or your interest, they are in fact referring to the singular concept: excitement.

You should be asking yourself, "What excite me?"

Timothy Ferries, 4 hour work week

this june gonna be awesome

Lets take a look what i did in May:

Zoo & River Sarafi (Cyn B'day) - 19 May 

6th Year Anniversary - 22 May

USS - 25 May

This is how my June activities look like:

9 June : Edmund & YaEn Wedding

14 June: Mayday Concert

15 & 16 June: Bintan Trip with my batch colleagues

17 - 22 June: Mt Kerinci w SPA - a trek to the highest volcano in Indonesia, 3,805m

29 June: My sis's Wedding 

& a sneak peak on the 1st weekend of July: HCM w poly classmates (6 - 10 July)

Swee... i love how things are coming up in the following weeks.. 

lets live life!

USS Experience

two weeks back, i visited USS with the guys from my spa batch + px and cyn.

it's my first visit, and is so for px and wc... cyn and jj visit USS sometime back,  but were still keen to revisit as there are new rides..

all thanks to chong, we manage to get entrance tics at just $47.. whaha.. totally beat my OCBC corporate disc charging at $60, Usual price is around $70+..

the only thing was we were stingy on the express queue... which makes waiting very long and drains my energy. by the end of the entire day, i was totally shag to enjoy dinner..

imagine, the avg waiting time was about 1hour plus for popular riders like transformer, mummy, battlestar glactica (the cylon rocks) and jurassic park.. 

I was super high with adrenaline after the cylon rides.. it a good way to restress go on a ride and scream your lungs out..

we also experience the shrek 4D show, steven spielberg,  waterworld live show and sneak to the express queue on Madagascar...

we spent so much time queueing that we nv get to see any of the parades... haha..

its still a very fun day afterall... totally enjoyed it.

how will i remember what takashimaya is from today onwards

something interesting happened outside taka this afternoon on Vesak day...

as i was hanging around beside the 7-11 store waiting for my friend to finish a smoke,

i was approach by a shy bride-to-be to show her my 6 pack abs, one of the random dares the sisters prepared for her hens night...

i was totally unprepared for this, and hesitated on how to react as i haven been working out for a few weeks. the recent food & drinks didn't help!

but, how could i say 'no' to her on her bachelorette party especially after she has gathered the courage to pop the question..

as i gracefully lift my t-shirt slowly to show what's underneath, the sisters cheer me on and the shy bride-to-be become more shy...

i think half the time, she could not look at me eye-to-eye... she must have been a conservative girl and felt embarrass of what's going on..

she asked for a picture to complete the dare, luckily the kind sisters did not sabo us further by asking her to do some funky stuff.

after 2 clicks from the camera, she thank me for bring sporty enough and i wish her a blissful marriage ahead.


honestly, i feel lucky and horned to be approach and find this a hilarious & interesting experience. its my first of such anyway..

when i was alone thinking about the event earlier, i thought about what are the thing which i can do to make a better experience for the bribe-to-be.

and a few good thought did came across my mind.. hahaha..

shall see if i have such luck in future..

how sleep repairs the body

few days back, i was pretty stress up with life..

yesterday, i took the opportunity to go home on the dot, have a really good shower, and nap for an hour plus after dinner.

the outcome at 10pm: recharged, refresh and less grumpy..

remembering everything happens for a reason

So much easier said than done.

to remember this sentence during the difficult days is not easy.

To be convenience you can pull through is even harder.

to be totally not affected is impossible.

It tough, and sometimes discouraging,

but whatever the case, I know this is only temporary and I'll definitely find my success somewhere down the road.

Just wait and see Mr. Market, the losing streak will not disheart me, I will be stronger.

All I need is to let this out!

too passionate talking about investment and markets

I had a 5 hr conversation taking/listening about insurance, saving plans, investment and stock market.

I did not know that I have so much to say..

I was so into the conversation that I totally forgotten about dinner and time.

Now, my body is punishing me.

And I suddenly came to realised this is how much passion I have.

The learning journey to consistent performance is tough. Continue to persevere on, and believe deep down its achievable.

Be discipline and works towards it!

bowing down to authoritaive figures

compliance is a 2012 film inspired by true events on a "strip search prank call scam", particularly on the Mount Washington, Kentucky incident. Similar incidents of such happened over 70 times in the US, for a period of roughly a decade. 

I just watch this film last night, and for me, it shows how easy is it for people to bow down to authoritative figures (or perceived authority), how easy is it for an authoritative figures to manipulate others and most importantly, how silly many are guilty of just doing things after being told to, simply to obey without questioning, and failing to firmly insist on your stand towards the matter.

Although these prank calls occurred between the 1990s to 2004, traces of such human behavior was documented long ago before the colour tv was invented. An experiment in 1963, "Milgram experiment on obedience to authority figure" showed findings that subjects are were merely following orders, despite violating their deepest moral beliefs. The findings were also consistent within societies, but with different percentage across the globe.

Its very sad that such things in extreme occurred in real life, but it serve as a very good reminder that people will abuse such human behavior towards their advantage.

It sets me thinking how obedience am I to authority or perceived authority.


More about:
Strip search prank call
Compliance (film)
Milgram experiment on obedience to authority figure

being a sotong in the morning..

I had a very very exciting Sunday morning. The morning whereby anything which can goes wrong, went wrong.


I sign up for a 42km cycling ride at OCBC Cycle. But i got so much more than just cycling.. Seriously.


So here it goes..

1. I almost overslept, because i doze off on my bed. Luckily my mom came into my room to off my lights and ask me what time to wake up.

2. Surprisingly, i was quite awake at 5am in the morning. While packing my bags, i still remember reminding myself to bring along my helmet. Because, no helmet, no riding.

3. Terry hitch my ride to F1 Pit, met Yejun at the carpark. First i had a scare that i might forgotten to bring my bicycle deposit tag. I was flipping though my wallet but could not find that slip of paper. Luckily, Yejun found it between my notes.. Too much $$ in wallet i guess.. Haha..

4. I jokingly asked Terry if he brought his helmet. It was only then i realised "i think i forget to bring something..." And indeed, i really forgotten!!!!!!!!! I really wanted to kick myself..

5. As the bicycle and helmet are rental, die die have to return after the cycling. To avoid further complications, i decided to go back home (argggg) to take the helmet. Time check: 5.40am, my ride supposed to start at 6.15am. Well done Ang!

6. After i got home, found the helmet at the bench where i sit to wear my shoe. Apparently, i remembered to take it from my room to the house door, but totally forgotten about it after wearing my shoe. I must have thought i was just going for running.. Haha..

7. By the time i got back to the venue, it was closed to 6.45-7am. Yawnz, after rushing up and down, i'm finally ready to cycle. Got my bike and my HELMET and head towards the starting line.

8. Halfway towards the starting line, (not even 50m of cycling), my gear got jammed on an upslope. Haiz, why so sway sia... Got down and tried fixing it. After a tough battle, and with my hands greezy.. i finally got it to work.. Today just not my day..

9. So i got on my bicycle and continue cycling to the starting point.. Piew, nothing can go wrong le ba, i thought to myself. I then reach to my pockets to feel for my car key...... and it was ....... WAIT!!! Where my KEY??

10. Siao liao lor. While i was rushing, did i forgotten to lock the car door, and left the keys inside there or did i really drop it? SHIT. Screw the cycling!! WHERE MY KEY?

11. I looked everywhere on the floor also cannot find. Damm it.. I must go back to the carpark to see if my car doors are locked.

12. When i reach the car park, (for the 3rd time this morning), i took a deep breath and tried open my car door. It was... locked. I even verify the car plate one more time to make sure i am at the correct car.. Haha..

13. OMG, where am i going to find my keys? Where could i drop it? I narrow down to 3 possibilities. a. While running to the venue, b. while taking my bike, c. while fixing my gear.

14. So, i slowly trace back how i walk from my car to the venue, looking around on the floor for a lost key.. But.. None, no luck here..

15. Went back to the place where i put my bicycle, also nope. No sign of my keys..

16. I cannot go to the place while i fix gear as it a restricted area. Only for cyclist going to the starting points. I can now only do a lost and found at the information counter..

17. So i head over to the info counter, saying i lost my car key. Violet, the information counter lady gave me a smile, turn sideways towards a container box on the floor and start looking for things.

18. What is she doing?? Did she even heard what i told her? Did someone return it, is she looking for my key?

19. and TA DA, she proudly raise a zip lock bag, with a nissan car key in it. She ask if this looks like mine, and it really did look like it... I was like so HAPPYYYYYY and JUMPING FOR JOY in my heart.

20. The key really looks like mine, but the only way to check is to go back to the car and see if it can unlock. So, i head back to the carpark for the 4th time, (it a walk between the venue F1 pit and the carpark at Millennium walk btw) stand directly in front of my car and press the unlock button of the remote.

21. and true enough, the familiar sound and the signal light flashes like its saluting me!! I breathe a sigh of relief.

22. the cycling was not that exciting, this is. but i hope never for this to ever occur again..

on living a true life to yourself

i like this sentence:

"we are told to look for ourselves, and the things we are supposed to do as though we are going to find them under a certain rock on a certain street in a certain city"

i know it hard, many times we don know what we what. sometimes, even though you may think you want this, but after achieving it only to found out that not really it...

i know i'm contradicting my "living a true life"

sour grapes

sour grapes - denial of the desirability of something after one has found out that it cannot be reach or acquired

that the official meaning, or for my case - the jealousy of something after one has found out that SOMEONE else has reach or acquire it...



how often do u eat sour grapes? i don usually, as i believe what is yours is yours. what isn't, if you want it, just work harder for it. no point whining, comparing, complaining..

but today, for a particular incident, its like i sour grape. I supposed to be happy for it, instead i'm here writing and reflecting on it.

Is it prejudice leading to being a sour grape?

how will i tell my story...

you know, life so short, filled with so much great memories..

but we tend to be so forgetful, so tied up at our current moment that we forgotten to treasure the good times, until maybe when we realised its too late..

and i'm a really forgetful person, looking back at my memories, i can only remember this was good, with some very basic details of that moment.

memories like hanging around club hse, chats with club mates, looking forward to friday sport day, HTHT with close friends, bro-ing with my bros, winning a medal in poly50, the occasional drinks, hanging out with friends, and so much more. on top of these, not forgetting the love from my friends, girlfriend and family.

change is the only constant thing in life, and we cant expect things to stay the same. everything here has an expiry. situations changes, 1 of my best bro pass away, people change, priority changes, you never know when you will lose something you have right now.


that why, i firmly believe if the moment feels good, just forget about everything and enjoy the moment fully, you never know if you ever get to re-live that moment..


the question to myself:


how can we better capture all these great moments? i'm not really good at writing and expressing myself.. but i really like the idea of being able to still remember all the good times i had and going to in the future, to be filled with pictures and stories and maybe videos for my own keepsake. just like in the show "how i met your mother" where ted tells every single detail of his story.

-----------------------

i read from a comments that the band filmed this for free, long before they were famous. they did it for friends who loved their music and have not made a dime off the video

you don need a big budget or a wide audience to make great music. 

The head and the heart - rivers and roads

a year from now we'll all be gone

all our friends will move away

and they're going to better places

but our friends will be gone away

nothing is as it has been

and i miss your face like hell

and i guess it's just as well

but i miss your face like hell

been talking bout the way things change

and my family lives in a different state

and if you don't know what to make of this

then we will not relate

so if you don't know what to make of this

then we will not relate

rivers and roads

rivers and roads

rivers 'til i reach you

in overdrive

My mind is in overdrive right now, like 5th gear on a 20km/h road.

 Thinking about everything and anything.

My work, my achievement, my commitment, my friends, my family, my life!

Over the years, I built many many walls, these walls are for protection, but maybe, its time to crumble them down.

Sometimes, I wonder why is my defensive mechanism so strong.

the skier who's afraid of going downhill

don be the skier, who is afraid of going downhill, after a previous fall..

if you are afraid to go down, you might as well sell your skis and raise goldfish instead.


you can forget about trading, if you are the trader who is afraid of taking a trade.

losses are deem as losses, as the result was a negative monetary gain. in actual fact, all trades are winners as each trade, no matter the outcome, will add on and built your experience arsenal.

you don have to fear uncertainly, if you can re-frame how you see the outcome.

Surfing at Cherating

Sometime during late Jan this year, I went on a surfing experience at Cherating, a quiet beach at the northern eastern side of Malaysia.

From my understanding, there are a few places to surf/learn surfing in Malaysia.

You can do so in Mersing (Johor) & Cherating (Near Kuantan). I also heard that there are surf schools in Desaru as well, but i'm not too sure about that.

Cherating is a good place for beginners to learn, as it has a sandy bottom (no worries about falling down) and the waves are manageable.

super low tide on the day i visited. nice quiet beach.

Surf School at Cherating:

2 Surf Schools at Cherating. 

1. Cherating Point (http://cheratingpoint.com)

2. Satusuku (http://satusuku.com/content_2_1.htm)

During my surf trip, i engaged and sign up for a surf lesson from Cherating Point. I choosed Cherating Point as their website has frequent updates. I contacted Zairil through email and got respond fairly quickly. He speaks English, so no problems communicating.

Cherating Point runs it business more "family like" from a local resort, Matahari Guest House. People here are more chill and friendly in my opinion.

Cherating Point surf school from Matahari Guest House

surf board

I managed to walk pass Satusuku surf school to take a peep hows the business like. Visually, it feels like Satusuku runs their business more "american style". They have a shop front (facing a road), with tables and chairs for surfers to chill out, drink beer and listen to rock music. Its a pity that i did not get the chance to try out their surf classes, so to my readers, you may like to try out surfing with Satusuku in future and let me know your experience.

Surf Experience:

Its my second time surfing, and still, its very taxing for my shoulders.  I see the ang mo walk from the coast towards the surf area easily and tried, but found out its extremely difficult. Seriously, I don know how the ang mo do the walk, they are like so stable moving forward and i was like wobbling through out making inches. Hell, i am not even halfway from the coastline towards the surf area. So no choice, buck up and paddle hard.

This time round, i learn about looking at waves and identifying which waves are suitable for surfing. I still need to practice on turning, so forward no problem for now. Soon, you may start seeing me doing tricks.. Hahaaa..

Cherating Town:

Cherating town is north of Kuantan, about 50km away. There is only 1 main road in Cherating, and i guess the only way for land transport to get in. There is this area concentrated with resorts/chalets for guest to stay in somewhere near Kampong Cherating. 

Its just about a 100m walk from the mainroad to the resort area. The bus uncle will usually know where you are referring to when you tell him you want to alight at the Cheating beach resort area to learn surfing etc.

If you are coming from Kuantan, i heard from fellow travelers that you can take the bus towards Kuala Terengganu to alight halfway along the resort busstop. I've not tried it  before so double confirm this yourself. Cab from Kuantan should cost around RM50-70 per car. I personally rent a car from Kuantan to drive down to Cherating as I wanted to explore the area is greater details.

Coming from Singapore/Johor, its possible to take a bus towards Kemaman (Geliga) and similarly, alight at the mainroad outside the resort. Kemaman is the nearest town with a bus terminal from Cherating.

Cherating Resort Area

Resorts/Food At Cherating:

Satusuku site has a very comprehensive list of resort available for reference, with approx price available. Here the link: http://satusuku.com/content_14_1.htm

Food wise, I saw 2 Chinese restaurants around the area, but they mainly do dinner. There is also a mini-mart around the corner to sell the daily necessity.

I also saw that there is massage service, good idea for the aching shoulders after surfing.

There also a Transnasional Bus Ticket agent within the resort region, which allow you to buy your bus tickets directly. At the same shop, there are also computers for you to use internet.

Surfing at JB?

I saw this poster at one of the streets behind city square, any one wanna try??

心胸狭窄

just a random thought...

its one thing to have a heart as wide as the universe, but don't this open up the opportunity to be taken advantage off.. 

letting go

for somethings, it really hard to see past the present and let the issue go...

is it just me or does every one secretly keep scores?

tick tock, tick tock

tick tock tick tock, the clock ticking.

Everything has a expiry, there is no eternity.

The clock is counting, there is no stopping.

Take the moment, treasure it! As you may never ever enjoy it.

working with uncertainty

I think my obsess of being certain is crazy.

At least, these r the thoughts I have after some reflection.

I think the assurance of being certain has limit myself on my potential.

I need to embrace and overcome this, I know I'm taking small steps towards it.

indecisive kills

need to improve on this aspect especially when working with uncertainties.

i think indecisive links back to fear, similarly to what i've observed when trading.

after all, it easy to say that fear isn't real. it only a emotion.

and i'm wondering how did i get myself so badly in this state?

a heavy heart and tired soul

i left office this evening with a heavy heart. maybe its the overwhelm of work, mainly admin, causing my emotions to feel i did not achieve much.

i always had this idea that working close to the market will enable me to spent more time to study it more.

had my evening runs and dinner with my buds today, but still no satisfaction.

u know it shitty when your subconscious still spin around with work when u are back home resting on the sofa.

let just embrace the challenge ahead and be fearless!

1 of the most impressive reads so far.. - 5 Regrets Before Dying

5 Regrets Before Dying

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Ware said that this was the most common regret of all. It’s easy to let our dreams slip by due to circumstances or decisions that we’ve made. These choices mark the divide between living a fulfilled life or one that is full of regrets.

It’s important that we aim to achieve at least some of our dreams along the way. We often put off trying for our dreams due to a myriad of reasons. Before we know it, we would have lost our health and therefore, our chance to attain them.

If your dream is to start a business, get to it. If it’s to learn how to dance or try skydiving, book a class. If you want to make music, pick up a guitar.

Don’t put it off any longer.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

In between having ends meet and aiming for a luxurious lifestyle, it’s easy to see why we get caught up with our work.

Ware said that this was a common regret of male patients who didn’t manage to spend enough time with their family.

It’s easy to get caught up in the rat race, but remember to set aside some time for the important things in life. Most importantly, you will have to understand why you do what you do. Is it for your own personal achievement, for family, or for a higher calling?

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Hands up anyone who has suppressed their feelings in order to avoid potential embarrassment or argument.

Avoiding arguments is good for a harmonious life, but the problem comes when we take it too far. When we blindly follow the opinions of someone more assertive just to avoid arguments, we’re shortchanging ourselves.

While it’s understandable that we use Twitter and blogging to rant about things we are unhappy with, do remember that talking about it face-to-face is always a more sincere option.

So if an issue is major enough, try approaching the person for an honest and frank chat. We’re not saying that the talk will be smooth sailing, but your relationships will emerge stronger and healthier.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

It’s easy to lose touch with good friends. A busy lifestyle can take away time from the ones you love. This is where technology comes in.

With services like Facebook, WhatsApp and Yahoo! Messenger, it’s easy to keep tabs on old friends. Talking to friends is so effortless today that we have no reason to let staying in touch with friends take a backseat.

At the end of the day though, nothing beats chatting over a cup of coffee. So always remember to occasionally take things offline and catch up with your friends the old fashioned way.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

‘Many don't realize until the end that happiness is a choice’, said Ware in her blog post.

This is very true. Happiness is something that we choose for ourselves. Many get upset over the circumstances in their lives. What they do not realize is that they can choose to face difficulties with a smile.

Take a moment and enjoy life. If difficulties come your way, remember that pain is inevitable but wallowing in misery is always optional.

Choose to be happy.